It was 22 years ago today, and THE REEM had nowhere to play.
That’s right kids, THE REEM was a highly unsuccessful and obnoxiously offensive Metal/Country/A-Capella “band” that wowed crowds of up to 6 people (including friends) that assured they would not be asked back to any of the few places they were lucky to have played.
Their Metal-A-Capella shreeking was obviously misunderstood and an easy way to clear any room (including the so-called “punks”). In fact, the song “Nobody Likes Us” is a very accurate portrayal of THE REEM.
The original concept came from McDink & Schtick to form a crappy cover band to make $$$$. Playing the worst, burnt-out crap cover-band songs imaginable, but with a distinct edge… to deliberately SUCK (with feeling) and watch the $$$$ roll right in. Thus, THE REEM. This shitty band makes $$$$ and the audiece gets THE REEM. That—somehow—evolved into what THE REEM actually became… which was, well, THE REEM. Need we say more? I MEAN, C’MON.
Formed in 1991, THE REEM consisted of:
SLACK – Vocals, Harmonica, Jaw Harp
SCHTICK BORG – Lead Drums, Vocals, Kazoo
SQUEEGEE PAPSMEER – Lead Guitar, Vocals, Posturing & Posing
XORON VALDEZ – Lead Bass, Vocals, Whining
All members contributed “songs.” Some completed by one member, some collaborated, each and every one an embarrassment. Including the McDink-inspired guitar riff for the opening track, “BIMBOS RULE.”
The 1st and only official release, YOU’RE GONNA GET IT SOONER OR LATER, was mass-produced on 100 cassettes, which the band proudly couldn’t even give them away for free. The album cover art work was by SLACK and is classic! Recored “LIVE” on 4-track cassette.
The 2nd release, SCREEMIN’ FOR A REEMIN’, was recorded but never officially released. A pity, we realize… UNTIL NOW, BABIES!! Recorded “LIVE” on 2-track cassette. Like a mixing board through a home stereo cassette. Very “High Tech.” Recorded “LIVE” from start to finish, including the song “WOOD JA,” which was written and recorded on the spot. Believe it, Ripley. In other words, what you’re hearing is the first time they ever. played. that. song. (and, most likely, the. last.)
A 3rd release of the “band”s favorite covers titled REEM ACHES was planned, but never recorded. Yeah, you could say the “band” REEMED themselves on that one.
Due to the lack of success, talent, and absolutely no support, THE REEM blew away like a sputtering fart and never played again. Thus ends one of thee most lifeless tales in the history of St. Louis RAWK.
Slack and Schtick, however, remained close friends, and, in 1995, the opening of “The Rock & Roll Hall of Fame” inspired Slack & Schtick to introduce “The Rock & Roll Hall of Flamers.”
And finally, the very last gasp of THE REEM was in 2001 on the 10th anniversary of THE REEM. Founding members Slack & Schtick decided to have a REEM Reunion Farewell “Concert” featuring no original members, but couldn’t find anybody to commit. Go figure.
Slack passed away on March 5, 2011. RIP, old friend.